In my last post I mentioned Kun Sam was sick right? He was having fever for 4-days despite taking paracetamol. So went to see the paediatrician who made a more detailed check & even take a blood test. We had to wait 45mins to get the result of the blood test (which is pretty fast actually), before going back to the Dr's office again to get the diagnosis. Nothing serious. Just viral infection of the throat & inflammation of the nose canal. Just some mild medication, no antibiotics required. All in all, the whole exercise took about 2-hrs.
On the way driving back, my mother-in-law is still feeling uncomfortable that Kun Sam's illness may be related to something paranormal. Rationale is that we always bring him out at night, so some evil wondering soul must be disturbing him - hence the fever.
To give her peace of mind, hubby drove in to a Taoist temple that she normally go to for "enlightenment". There's apparently a medium who's very "accurate" & good in resolving such paranormal disturbances. To be honest both hubby & I were skeptical. At least hubby roughly know how all this works. I was truly like a fish out of water. I don't know if I should sit / stand / pray / burn incense etc.
There's an old man at the right hand corner of the temple who got Kun Sam's information like his name, date & time of birth, place of birth etc. Then we're asked to bring the envealope to the medium who was seated in the middle. He just took a look at Kun Sam, pointed at him & said, "Kun Sam right? Listen carefully. He's not being hounded by ghosts or having paranormal disturbances. His nostril is merely blocked, hence causing his throat to be infected; which causes fever. Just give him this list of herbal medication & another herb to soothe his teething gums, he should be fine. I'm also giving him a "fu" (a strip of yellow paper with some characters written by the medium in red & 3 stamps of a wooden stamp), you should burn it, take the ashes & disolve in water. Use the ash water to make his milk. Understand? Hmmh ok."
That was it!
In only less than 10mins & he was able to rattle off all the Dr's diagnosis that took about 2-hrs & even issue a prescription too (albeit the dubious "fu" that we need to give its ash to a baby)!
I'm not sure if I'm a convert now... but WOW! Believe It Or Not?!
Showing posts with label Chinese Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese Culture. Show all posts
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Pictures from 2011 Chinese New Year
Kun Sam a matter of days away from his 1st month milestone being carried for the first time by Yee Khaw. Even at such tender age, he's already wise enough to be worried... ;)
Hehe... So small already know how to complaint that Yee Khaw is not carrying him right!
This is Yee Khaw's doing! It's baby's talkum powder supposedly to keep the bum dry but used to "make-up" Kun Sam's face.
Our family photo for 2011 CNY. The rare few of the more serious variety. Wait till you see the others!
Us doing the "Lou-Sang" of the "Yee Sang" - chinese version of the salad. Can mix but can't eat. I was still in my confinement period, so I can't eat a lot of stuff. Sigh...
Hehe... See what I mean? Our silly family potrait # 1. Lean to the left everyone?! Shen doing that silly face. Mum looked like she's surrounded by loonies...
Now lean to the right!! Tihi!
Now everyone do the Love Arch! Purrrrrrrr-fect!
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Book Review: Empress Orchid by Anchee Min
I love a good historical fiction. Geography is not a matter. It can be England, Egypt, Greece, Rome, China, Tibet or Timbuktu, if it's a good blend of real historical figures with fictitious plots or storyline (closely linked to true historical events) or behind the scenes of the events. I'm a sucker for it if it fulfills that criteria.
Let's just say that this book fulfills all the above expectations and more.
I've read and heard a lot about the Last Empress. More often than not, in bad light. She's always that "Dragon Lady" who's nasty to her subjects, heartless on the account of how she manages the "love life" of the emperor, her "son" and her penchant for draining national resources on frivolous projects without a care.
This book however, gave me a totally different view of the Last Empress. Instead of "judging" her actions (as we mere mortals tend to do), the author managed to present possibilities that her various historically "evil" / poor decisions & actions may not be borne out of any malice! There are possibilities that she may be the victim of circumstances. The strong & resilient woman (at an age where women are seen as only good enough for breeding, mending & cooking) taking the blame for the fall of an ancient empire - regardless of the fact that the empire was already a very sick "dragon" by the time she came too power.
Historically, across the Globe, we're a race (& I mean the human race here) that tend to pass judgement & "assign" a scapegoat to any downfall. In this case, the person to take the blame & carry that "shame" for all eternity as part of records we call "history", just happens to conveniently be the Empress Orchid (Yehonala). No (or I should amend - to a lesser degree) blame was heaped on the emperor himself or the emperors before him (caveat: I must exclude Kang Xi & err... I can't remember the other great emperor; from the list), who did not have the foresight nor take the effort to keep up the ancient glory of China in comparison to the progress of the industrial revolution in the West.
This novel explores the various historical events including the infamous marble "entertainment boat" that was commisioned under the empress' name - and present a different view. The view of the empress herself. What if she did not commission that expensive & frivolous project? What if it was all an attempt of the court official's "smear" campaign to tarnish her name to hand-over the reins to the next of kin that they can better / easily manipulate? What if she's a victim - who's forced to take up the rein? What if the officials around her & court politics were so life threatening that she had to go along with some of the decisions put forth by some powerful ministers despite not being the best course of action? What if she truly wanted to bring in smart & fresh new blood as part of the advisory team within the ministries but were hampered by the traditional Manchu ministers who are unable to accept Hans among their midst? What if she very much wanted her son to take over the rein, but the rein was thrust back to her in pursuit of more "fun" endeavors like "accumulating" concubines?
Are we truly reading "history" and facts when we go through the various scribes of the period? It may very well be recorded based on the perception of the scribe / historian - not the actual dynamics behind that occured behind the scenes. If so, could we have "prosecuted" the Empress by our righteous judgement of her supposed actions?
Yea... amazing isn't it! I got all this from reading "fiction"! :)
Summary: I'm truly satisfied - both in entertainment & mental stimulation. Not for those who find history a bore & too tedious to recall the various characters that fleet through the various scenes. I must also warn that at times it's also very depressing (even for me, it got rather difficult to continue) - especially towards the end when losing is inevitable & just a matter of time.
I came across a quote once that "History is written by the victors". This piece of work indirectly demonstrated such possibility. She's in the losing team in this case - so are we reading records of the victor or hers? Points to Ponder.
Let's just say that this book fulfills all the above expectations and more.
I've read and heard a lot about the Last Empress. More often than not, in bad light. She's always that "Dragon Lady" who's nasty to her subjects, heartless on the account of how she manages the "love life" of the emperor, her "son" and her penchant for draining national resources on frivolous projects without a care.
This book however, gave me a totally different view of the Last Empress. Instead of "judging" her actions (as we mere mortals tend to do), the author managed to present possibilities that her various historically "evil" / poor decisions & actions may not be borne out of any malice! There are possibilities that she may be the victim of circumstances. The strong & resilient woman (at an age where women are seen as only good enough for breeding, mending & cooking) taking the blame for the fall of an ancient empire - regardless of the fact that the empire was already a very sick "dragon" by the time she came too power.
Historically, across the Globe, we're a race (& I mean the human race here) that tend to pass judgement & "assign" a scapegoat to any downfall. In this case, the person to take the blame & carry that "shame" for all eternity as part of records we call "history", just happens to conveniently be the Empress Orchid (Yehonala). No (or I should amend - to a lesser degree) blame was heaped on the emperor himself or the emperors before him (caveat: I must exclude Kang Xi & err... I can't remember the other great emperor; from the list), who did not have the foresight nor take the effort to keep up the ancient glory of China in comparison to the progress of the industrial revolution in the West.
This novel explores the various historical events including the infamous marble "entertainment boat" that was commisioned under the empress' name - and present a different view. The view of the empress herself. What if she did not commission that expensive & frivolous project? What if it was all an attempt of the court official's "smear" campaign to tarnish her name to hand-over the reins to the next of kin that they can better / easily manipulate? What if she's a victim - who's forced to take up the rein? What if the officials around her & court politics were so life threatening that she had to go along with some of the decisions put forth by some powerful ministers despite not being the best course of action? What if she truly wanted to bring in smart & fresh new blood as part of the advisory team within the ministries but were hampered by the traditional Manchu ministers who are unable to accept Hans among their midst? What if she very much wanted her son to take over the rein, but the rein was thrust back to her in pursuit of more "fun" endeavors like "accumulating" concubines?
Are we truly reading "history" and facts when we go through the various scribes of the period? It may very well be recorded based on the perception of the scribe / historian - not the actual dynamics behind that occured behind the scenes. If so, could we have "prosecuted" the Empress by our righteous judgement of her supposed actions?
Yea... amazing isn't it! I got all this from reading "fiction"! :)
Summary: I'm truly satisfied - both in entertainment & mental stimulation. Not for those who find history a bore & too tedious to recall the various characters that fleet through the various scenes. I must also warn that at times it's also very depressing (even for me, it got rather difficult to continue) - especially towards the end when losing is inevitable & just a matter of time.
I came across a quote once that "History is written by the victors". This piece of work indirectly demonstrated such possibility. She's in the losing team in this case - so are we reading records of the victor or hers? Points to Ponder.
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
2009 Old Souls Day - Cheng Beng
Last Sunday was my 4th Cheng Beng with the Tang's family. I remembered writing in my blog last year with mix comments from awkward feelings to life's lessons that my sis-in-law bestow on her daughter.
The same as last year, my mum-in-law prayed for a grandson - hopefully fr me (cos' I have no kids at all so far & I'm the youngest - so still of child-bearing age) & my sis-in-laws (both have a daughter each). Stress again.....
I remembered a Taoist priest once told my husband - the reason why there are no grandsons in this Tang family so far is because the Ancestors are not happy because the ones doing the praying and offering to the Ancestar altar at home is always the female of the family. The men don't.
I also remembered a story that my uncle once told me about his sister-in-law who periodically goes to the ancestral graveyard & curse the ancestors saying "If you don't let me strike lottery, I'll NEVER come & pray / provide offerings EVER AGAIN!!! What's the use if I don't have money to buy your offerings!" and on and on she went.
Put these 2 stories together, my over-active mind concocted the following "evil" thought:
Wonder what will happen if on Cheng Beng, I go to the graveyard & started cursing "You @$#%*#% you!!! Year after year I faithfully come to pray under the sweltering sun bearing heavy offerings with all the men in the Tang family & you dare to complaint that you don't get offerings from your men folks!? On top of tht you want to punish us by making me childless & my sis-in-law without the son tht the society is pressuring them to have! If offspring is 'granted' by show of filial piety, then why my youngest sis-in-law (by rank, not age) who has never joined a single Cheng Beng trip, has a daughter & I have none!! If I have none before the coming Cheng Beng, well - expect another daughter-in-law of the family to boycott this event & not come next year!!"
(note: Not tht I prefer sons over daughters. But tht was the expectation of us.... sigh....).
Naturally I did not scream all these inner thoughts out on tht day. That would be asking to be divorced!!
Wow! When I think of it again - that's a lot of negative energy!! I know it's some old wife's hocus-pocus tht can't be believed... But the fact tht I can even think such a things does indicate my mental health. Do you think I need to get help before it's too late? I feel ok, but to a person in trouble, you're always ok... **shrugs**
The same as last year, my mum-in-law prayed for a grandson - hopefully fr me (cos' I have no kids at all so far & I'm the youngest - so still of child-bearing age) & my sis-in-laws (both have a daughter each). Stress again.....
I remembered a Taoist priest once told my husband - the reason why there are no grandsons in this Tang family so far is because the Ancestors are not happy because the ones doing the praying and offering to the Ancestar altar at home is always the female of the family. The men don't.
I also remembered a story that my uncle once told me about his sister-in-law who periodically goes to the ancestral graveyard & curse the ancestors saying "If you don't let me strike lottery, I'll NEVER come & pray / provide offerings EVER AGAIN!!! What's the use if I don't have money to buy your offerings!" and on and on she went.
Put these 2 stories together, my over-active mind concocted the following "evil" thought:
Wonder what will happen if on Cheng Beng, I go to the graveyard & started cursing "You @$#%*#% you!!! Year after year I faithfully come to pray under the sweltering sun bearing heavy offerings with all the men in the Tang family & you dare to complaint that you don't get offerings from your men folks!? On top of tht you want to punish us by making me childless & my sis-in-law without the son tht the society is pressuring them to have! If offspring is 'granted' by show of filial piety, then why my youngest sis-in-law (by rank, not age) who has never joined a single Cheng Beng trip, has a daughter & I have none!! If I have none before the coming Cheng Beng, well - expect another daughter-in-law of the family to boycott this event & not come next year!!"
(note: Not tht I prefer sons over daughters. But tht was the expectation of us.... sigh....).
Naturally I did not scream all these inner thoughts out on tht day. That would be asking to be divorced!!
Wow! When I think of it again - that's a lot of negative energy!! I know it's some old wife's hocus-pocus tht can't be believed... But the fact tht I can even think such a things does indicate my mental health. Do you think I need to get help before it's too late? I feel ok, but to a person in trouble, you're always ok... **shrugs**
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Father-In-Law Birthday
We celebrated my Father-In-Law's Birthday last Saturday at a Chinese Restaurant in Seri Kembangan.
Was rather nostalgic celebrating his birthday there because it was the exact same private room & exact same table we had his birthday celebration I think 4 / 5 years ago. At that time I think it was the first time I attended his Birthday dinner as the "official girlfriend" of his son.
I liked that venue because the private room was decorated quite elegantly with traditional Chinese furniture & decorations. It also has a small area away from the dining table where you can lounge around the carved rose-wood sofa/bench & sing the Karaoke. The chandelier is not OTT & it's elegantly draped down right in the middle of the dining table. Last but not least - the dining table itself is a HUGE / Humongous table that can easily fit 20 pax in 1 seating without needing to squeeze / sit on stools (there's even space for a baby chair to be added).
The food was fantastic. It was so good that I wished I had suggested this place for Sean's wedding reception. We had the usual Four Season, "Phun Choi" (a dish where you have all type of meats in 1 pot), Buddha jump over the wall, Sharks fin soup, abalone & brocoli, suckling pig, Steam & stir-fry black pepper fish, salted-egg fried lobster, mix vegetable, fried rice, fried noodle, dessert & birthday cake! Not sure if I got all the menu in or not cos' after the 5th / 6th dish, I lost count what I've eaten & what was to come! How we managed to gobble all this down, I have no idea.
Am happy though that we made the celebration bigger - after all, how many of us can claim that they have touched 85! Long live "Lou Yea"! :-p
Was rather nostalgic celebrating his birthday there because it was the exact same private room & exact same table we had his birthday celebration I think 4 / 5 years ago. At that time I think it was the first time I attended his Birthday dinner as the "official girlfriend" of his son.
I liked that venue because the private room was decorated quite elegantly with traditional Chinese furniture & decorations. It also has a small area away from the dining table where you can lounge around the carved rose-wood sofa/bench & sing the Karaoke. The chandelier is not OTT & it's elegantly draped down right in the middle of the dining table. Last but not least - the dining table itself is a HUGE / Humongous table that can easily fit 20 pax in 1 seating without needing to squeeze / sit on stools (there's even space for a baby chair to be added).
The food was fantastic. It was so good that I wished I had suggested this place for Sean's wedding reception. We had the usual Four Season, "Phun Choi" (a dish where you have all type of meats in 1 pot), Buddha jump over the wall, Sharks fin soup, abalone & brocoli, suckling pig, Steam & stir-fry black pepper fish, salted-egg fried lobster, mix vegetable, fried rice, fried noodle, dessert & birthday cake! Not sure if I got all the menu in or not cos' after the 5th / 6th dish, I lost count what I've eaten & what was to come! How we managed to gobble all this down, I have no idea.
Am happy though that we made the celebration bigger - after all, how many of us can claim that they have touched 85! Long live "Lou Yea"! :-p
Sean's Wedding Dinner in Malaysia
21st Mar'09 was the tea ceremony & wedding dinner of Sean & Lyndall. They held it at the Sunway Resort Chinese restaurant.
I brought along my crudely made - home-made Guest Book. Unfortunately as usual I forgot to take a pix of it again.... (surprise... surprise...) so I can't show how it looks like here. Anyway, to describe it :
Front Cover : I use a design card that I bought in MPH. It has the traditional Chinese red paper-cut motive with lots of common symbols in weddings - a pair of Peking love ducks & the word "Hei" which means something like Celebration / Happy Occasion. I also bought some thick red ribbons with embossed "Hei" Chinese character which became the border & not make the cover look so plain.
Back Cover : I used a plain pink card paper & again bordered with the red ribbon as per the front cover. In the middle, I got hubby to write the Chinese character for Love (i.e. "Ai") in Gold marker pen.
Content : Plain multi-coloured paper stuck together by cellophane tape (see wht I mean by crude... :-p)
** Funny thing is, I found the card - although it's called greeting card thickness... It's still rather thin, so I took some old mousepads that we no longer use & wrapped the mousepad with the different paper type / designs described above. That became the "thick & cushiony" front & back cover for the Guest Book!
The food was ok enough, but because my menses is coming, I had stomach discomfort & bloated feeling. So my symptoms came to look as if I was pregnant.... Well, sorry to disappoint... It's not...
The air-cond though was really-really bad.... I was sweating like nobody's business there. And tht hotel is supposed to be a 6-Star Hotel! I don't get it.
Oh... Forgot to mention... We assembled an impromptu performance! Boey Peng Lim & Family Choir Troop - singing "Yue Liang Dai Piao Wo De Xing" (The Moon Represents My Heart). Kinda embarrassing, but what the heck! Everyone enjoyed it & sang along with us (although they get to sit comfortably & we had to stand in front of the crowd!)... At the end of the performance, everyone said tht it's like the Sound of Music where the Von Trap family sang... err.... but I think we sounded more like pigs being slaughtered rather than a proper melodious choir!
The dinner was a good re-union too. Have not seen most of my cousins for years! Some have grown so tall & big that I didn't recognize them anymore. Made me feel rather old actually... Cos' most of them are either still studying / just starting work; while I'm already like 30 & rather jaded by now. OMG.... If I feel like tht at 30... How will I feel when I'm say 40 / 50!? (if I live tht long tht is)...
Anyways, was happy to meet everyone (albeit a few snobbish ones tht I gave a taste of their own medicine! Ignored them... :-p I'm the Devil really....)
I brought along my crudely made - home-made Guest Book. Unfortunately as usual I forgot to take a pix of it again.... (surprise... surprise...) so I can't show how it looks like here. Anyway, to describe it :
Front Cover : I use a design card that I bought in MPH. It has the traditional Chinese red paper-cut motive with lots of common symbols in weddings - a pair of Peking love ducks & the word "Hei" which means something like Celebration / Happy Occasion. I also bought some thick red ribbons with embossed "Hei" Chinese character which became the border & not make the cover look so plain.
Back Cover : I used a plain pink card paper & again bordered with the red ribbon as per the front cover. In the middle, I got hubby to write the Chinese character for Love (i.e. "Ai") in Gold marker pen.
Content : Plain multi-coloured paper stuck together by cellophane tape (see wht I mean by crude... :-p)
** Funny thing is, I found the card - although it's called greeting card thickness... It's still rather thin, so I took some old mousepads that we no longer use & wrapped the mousepad with the different paper type / designs described above. That became the "thick & cushiony" front & back cover for the Guest Book!
The food was ok enough, but because my menses is coming, I had stomach discomfort & bloated feeling. So my symptoms came to look as if I was pregnant.... Well, sorry to disappoint... It's not...
The air-cond though was really-really bad.... I was sweating like nobody's business there. And tht hotel is supposed to be a 6-Star Hotel! I don't get it.
Oh... Forgot to mention... We assembled an impromptu performance! Boey Peng Lim & Family Choir Troop - singing "Yue Liang Dai Piao Wo De Xing" (The Moon Represents My Heart). Kinda embarrassing, but what the heck! Everyone enjoyed it & sang along with us (although they get to sit comfortably & we had to stand in front of the crowd!)... At the end of the performance, everyone said tht it's like the Sound of Music where the Von Trap family sang... err.... but I think we sounded more like pigs being slaughtered rather than a proper melodious choir!
The dinner was a good re-union too. Have not seen most of my cousins for years! Some have grown so tall & big that I didn't recognize them anymore. Made me feel rather old actually... Cos' most of them are either still studying / just starting work; while I'm already like 30 & rather jaded by now. OMG.... If I feel like tht at 30... How will I feel when I'm say 40 / 50!? (if I live tht long tht is)...
Anyways, was happy to meet everyone (albeit a few snobbish ones tht I gave a taste of their own medicine! Ignored them... :-p I'm the Devil really....)
Friday, 3 October 2008
Chinese Wedding Tradition for Sean
My Ozzi “halfy” (half Aus + half Chinese) cousin is getting married & he’d like to plan a traditional wedding ceremony in M’sia to celebrate the occasion with his Mum’s side of the family. So in my attempt to document down the list of ceremonies / things to do, I thought, why not just document them down in my Blog! Haiya…!
Ok, so here goes – it’s going to be a long 1 (apologies if I misquoted / misrepresent cos’ I must admit that I’m also very much a “banana” = yellow outside, white inside) :-p
1. Seeking hand in marriage
Sean will most likely skip this step cos’ he’s proposed (on bended knees!) in some mountain (I can’t remember where – Canada?). Anyways, just for general knowledge, normally the head of the family from the bride & the groom will meet at a Restaurant / Tea House (most likely over dim sum – juzz my fantasy, may not be true…). This is where they’ll be agreeing on the marriage & “hammer” out such details as number of tables to be reserved for the brides’ family for the wedding dinner, dowry amount, dowry presentation date, “Cross Door” date (i.e. when the bride is fetched fr the lady’s to the man’s family) & yada-yada-yada.
2. Presentation of “dowry” & “sweetener”
Now this is an interesting piece of tradition, cos’ I didn’t really know much abt it until I went through it myself. Following are the list of stuff my husband has to prepare & bring to my parent on the allocated date & time :
a) Dowry – of course…. Money-money-money…. Not cheap u know to feed & educate kids these days… hahaha
d) Bao / Mantou preferably with Kaya filling – I don’t know the original reason behind this, but the new version tht I hear fr the “Dai Kam Che” (the lady employed to handle all the ceremonies for the wedding) is tht Kaya which is made of coconut milk + egg + sugar also sounds like the Malay word for “Rich” & Bao in Chinese sounds like “guaranteed”. So by having Kaya Bao, you’re “Guaranteed Richness”… I know-I know, this must be some new thing M’sian Chinese developed. Doubt the Mainland China folks know wht is Kaya!
e) Sweet drinks – Same concept as (b). In this modern age & time F&N Orange would do just fine. No Coca-Cola / Pepsi pls… Anything black is a No-No.
In return, my family will give the following (it is the believed tht the groom should not go back empty-handed. The superstition is tht the bride’s family will take all the wealth fr the groom :
a) Old coconut – To be honest I can’t remember if this is supposed to come from the bride / the groom, but I just assume it’s fr the bride lah! Reason being, the bride will call the father-in-law by the title “Loh-Yeh” (roughly translated as Old Father?.. or something like tht) & old coconut is called “Low Yea” in Cantonese; so due to similarity in sound, this is given (probably to say “You can start calling me Loh Yeh fr now Missy! :-p ). Oh & it has to be 2 & not 1. Chinese is against odd numbers. Everything good must come in even numbers. Normally these old coconuts are stuck with red paper cut out to the shape of “double happiness” Chinese character.
g) Red Wooden Clogs – the bride is suppose to wear this during the ceremony
h) Comb – now this is the interesting part. The parent of the bride will need to comb the hair of the bride in 3 strokes & each stroke must be a complete stroke from the crown of the head to the tip of the hair. It’s deemed in auspicious to have a tangle half way through the stroke; belief it is to signify tht married life should be smooth sailing & no obstacles in the way. Modern women have the solution to this – rebonding! Some may rightfully ask, what if I wanna keep my natural curls? You cheat! Wash / wet your hair (get the help of conditioners if need to), comb your hair till it’s sleek & de-tangled and use a comb with bigger gap btw the bristles! Haha… Anyway, to continue, each of the 3 strokes needs to be accompanied by the following 3 phrases (1 phrase for each stroke ar… Not repeat the 3 phrases for all 3 strokes!):
i. First comb, comb till the end (I know it sounds horrible when translated to English – but it’s quite poetic in Chinese)
ii. Second comb, every strand of hair are in order
iii. Third comb, children & grandchildren full 1 whole floor (I’m serious! That’s the exact translation! Honest! Now you know why our forefathers always have minimum 8 & max infinity children!). I must have been crossing my fingers when this was said cos’ I “have not even laid an egg since getting married!” sigh…
Think you can get to the bride now? Not tht easy… There will be friends & relatives of the bride (only women) tht set up roadblocks at the entrance of the bride’s room. The groom / his entourage will need to perform anything tht the friends / relatives ask to do – it can range from eating some disgusting concoction of wasabi + soya sauce + raw eggs etc, singing love songs and come up with an impromptu poetry recital to showing-off the groom’s “physical prowess” with some hard push-ups! Look! 1-hand push-up! (lucky for my hubby my aunties & friends are much too nice to torture him much. Just some angpows & a song. Cheh!)
b) Red Baby bathtub – again for the baby… Can the hint be any stronger!?!
c) 2 rice bowls filled to the brim with rice & 2 pairs of chopsticks – to signify tht the couple will always be filled with wealth & will not find anything in want. The chopsticks are to signify tht the couple now will always be in pairs.
8. Wedding Dinner
After going through all the above, the wedding dinner is the easiest to get over with. Just drink like a fish, accept all forms of concoction / cocktail of hard liquor, don’t care to who / where just shout “Yaaaaaaaaaaa - aaaaammmmmm Seng!” you’ll never go wrong and pray tht you didn’t make too much of an ass of yourselves in front of your parent-in-law / relatives. Word of advise, make sure you eat before dinner, cos’ you can expect to have dinner 2 hours later than the time printed on the wedding invitation (Why we even bother putting the time on the card is a puzzle to me…)
Coincidentally it consists of 8 steps! “Fatt ah! Very Fatt” (not fat ar mind you… It means prosperous in Chinese)
Boy, this is 1 loooonnnnggggg marathon to complete. It spans across weeks to write this & cracking my head to remember the details of my own wedding. Am sure I’ve missed out quite a bit cos’ there’s so many! So Sean, do you still want a full scale Chinese wedding? Hahaha…. I went through them & despite the many steps; it was quite fun actually (thinking back now tht is – not then… Was crazily nervous then!)
Ok, so here goes – it’s going to be a long 1 (apologies if I misquoted / misrepresent cos’ I must admit that I’m also very much a “banana” = yellow outside, white inside) :-p
1. Seeking hand in marriage
Sean will most likely skip this step cos’ he’s proposed (on bended knees!) in some mountain (I can’t remember where – Canada?). Anyways, just for general knowledge, normally the head of the family from the bride & the groom will meet at a Restaurant / Tea House (most likely over dim sum – juzz my fantasy, may not be true…). This is where they’ll be agreeing on the marriage & “hammer” out such details as number of tables to be reserved for the brides’ family for the wedding dinner, dowry amount, dowry presentation date, “Cross Door” date (i.e. when the bride is fetched fr the lady’s to the man’s family) & yada-yada-yada.
2. Presentation of “dowry” & “sweetener”
Now this is an interesting piece of tradition, cos’ I didn’t really know much abt it until I went through it myself. Following are the list of stuff my husband has to prepare & bring to my parent on the allocated date & time :
a) Dowry – of course…. Money-money-money…. Not cheap u know to feed & educate kids these days… hahaha
b) Raw cane sugar in bars – to sweeten the bride’s family for having their daughter “taken away”. To understand this concept is another long story, but suffice to say tht to traditional Chinese, the daughter is as good as “given away” / a more crude version would be “water tht has been thrown out of the bride’s family” & thereafter will be the full fledged family member of the groom. So to “compensate” for the bitterness of having to part with their daughter whom they have cared for all these years, they are given sugar / sweet stuff as “sweetener”. Now it’s given more as a tradition rather than a form of “compensation”
c) Boiled pork / pork leg (can’t remember) – don’t know wht is this for to be honest. Not another form of compensation I hope cos’ I sure hate to be “traded” with a pig! haha
d) Bao / Mantou preferably with Kaya filling – I don’t know the original reason behind this, but the new version tht I hear fr the “Dai Kam Che” (the lady employed to handle all the ceremonies for the wedding) is tht Kaya which is made of coconut milk + egg + sugar also sounds like the Malay word for “Rich” & Bao in Chinese sounds like “guaranteed”. So by having Kaya Bao, you’re “Guaranteed Richness”… I know-I know, this must be some new thing M’sian Chinese developed. Doubt the Mainland China folks know wht is Kaya!
e) Sweet drinks – Same concept as (b). In this modern age & time F&N Orange would do just fine. No Coca-Cola / Pepsi pls… Anything black is a No-No.
In return, my family will give the following (it is the believed tht the groom should not go back empty-handed. The superstition is tht the bride’s family will take all the wealth fr the groom :
a) Old coconut – To be honest I can’t remember if this is supposed to come from the bride / the groom, but I just assume it’s fr the bride lah! Reason being, the bride will call the father-in-law by the title “Loh-Yeh” (roughly translated as Old Father?.. or something like tht) & old coconut is called “Low Yea” in Cantonese; so due to similarity in sound, this is given (probably to say “You can start calling me Loh Yeh fr now Missy! :-p ). Oh & it has to be 2 & not 1. Chinese is against odd numbers. Everything good must come in even numbers. Normally these old coconuts are stuck with red paper cut out to the shape of “double happiness” Chinese character.
b) Any sweets / cakes / offerings deem fit by the bride’s family. Pix of some sample:
3. Delivery of “ka lui peng” = marry daughter biscuits (direct translation)
The brides family will buy a type of biscuit called “ka lui peng” to be presented to the invited guests when the wedding invitation card is being sent out. It’s a round cake with thin flour skin usually in yellow / red colour with lotus paste / red bean paste filling & a double happiness “stamp” on top. Pix as follows.
The brides family will buy a type of biscuit called “ka lui peng” to be presented to the invited guests when the wedding invitation card is being sent out. It’s a round cake with thin flour skin usually in yellow / red colour with lotus paste / red bean paste filling & a double happiness “stamp” on top. Pix as follows.
4. Hair Combing Ceremony (make sure use lots of conditioner here! Rebonding anyone?)
I don’t know the history of this ceremony, but I do know wht happens. Following are the things that a bride has to prepare for the ceremony:
a) A brand new pyjama – preferably in pink. Dunno the significance of this, but I guess you don’t wanna start your married life wif your ol’ pyjama qua… Word of caution: despite modern times & yes, we know the laces / lingerie is a much sexier alternative for the “bedroom action”, pls DO NOT attempt to wear this “variety” for this ceremony. Some elders may just have a heart attack & the ancestors may just go in hiding! A modest 2 piece pyjama with long pants (not shorts!) will do.
I don’t know the history of this ceremony, but I do know wht happens. Following are the things that a bride has to prepare for the ceremony:
a) A brand new pyjama – preferably in pink. Dunno the significance of this, but I guess you don’t wanna start your married life wif your ol’ pyjama qua… Word of caution: despite modern times & yes, we know the laces / lingerie is a much sexier alternative for the “bedroom action”, pls DO NOT attempt to wear this “variety” for this ceremony. Some elders may just have a heart attack & the ancestors may just go in hiding! A modest 2 piece pyjama with long pants (not shorts!) will do.
b) A pair of red candles, joss sticks, “bowl” to hold the joss sticks in place & red paper / cloth to cover the table
c) “Thong Yuen” which consists of small rice-flour balls in sweet syrup – some of the rice balls are tinted with red dye. 1 of the rice ball should be of a bigger size & the bride is suppose to eat / swallow it without chewing! (I remembered wondering wht if I choke here… then there wouldn’t be a wedding! But… puh-puh-puh dai ka lai si!)
d) Red Thread (can someone tell me wht is this for?)
e) Mirror (errmmm….)
f) Scissors (err… In the olden days there’s no professional hairdressers, so the bride need to get her haircut / set on this day?)
g) Red Wooden Clogs – the bride is suppose to wear this during the ceremony
h) Comb – now this is the interesting part. The parent of the bride will need to comb the hair of the bride in 3 strokes & each stroke must be a complete stroke from the crown of the head to the tip of the hair. It’s deemed in auspicious to have a tangle half way through the stroke; belief it is to signify tht married life should be smooth sailing & no obstacles in the way. Modern women have the solution to this – rebonding! Some may rightfully ask, what if I wanna keep my natural curls? You cheat! Wash / wet your hair (get the help of conditioners if need to), comb your hair till it’s sleek & de-tangled and use a comb with bigger gap btw the bristles! Haha… Anyway, to continue, each of the 3 strokes needs to be accompanied by the following 3 phrases (1 phrase for each stroke ar… Not repeat the 3 phrases for all 3 strokes!):
i. First comb, comb till the end (I know it sounds horrible when translated to English – but it’s quite poetic in Chinese)
ii. Second comb, every strand of hair are in order
iii. Third comb, children & grandchildren full 1 whole floor (I’m serious! That’s the exact translation! Honest! Now you know why our forefathers always have minimum 8 & max infinity children!). I must have been crossing my fingers when this was said cos’ I “have not even laid an egg since getting married!” sigh…
5. Fetching the bride
At a fixed time, the bridegroom will come to the bride’s house in a “convoy”. The bigger the “convoy” the more “face” the bride’s family has (typical Chinese – show offs! Hahahaha). Normally the brother of the bride will need to open the door of the groom’s car when it arrives & for tht “service” the groom is suppose to give “angpow” to the future brother-in-law to buy a new pair of shoes (dun ask me why shoes cos’ I dunno, but tht’s wht I was told).
At a fixed time, the bridegroom will come to the bride’s house in a “convoy”. The bigger the “convoy” the more “face” the bride’s family has (typical Chinese – show offs! Hahahaha). Normally the brother of the bride will need to open the door of the groom’s car when it arrives & for tht “service” the groom is suppose to give “angpow” to the future brother-in-law to buy a new pair of shoes (dun ask me why shoes cos’ I dunno, but tht’s wht I was told).
Think you can get to the bride now? Not tht easy… There will be friends & relatives of the bride (only women) tht set up roadblocks at the entrance of the bride’s room. The groom / his entourage will need to perform anything tht the friends / relatives ask to do – it can range from eating some disgusting concoction of wasabi + soya sauce + raw eggs etc, singing love songs and come up with an impromptu poetry recital to showing-off the groom’s “physical prowess” with some hard push-ups! Look! 1-hand push-up! (lucky for my hubby my aunties & friends are much too nice to torture him much. Just some angpows & a song. Cheh!)
6. Tea Ceremony – Bride’s House
Immediately after “retrieving” the bride, both bride & groom will start serving tea to the bride’s family – starting with the bride’s grandparent, parent, paternal uncle, aunties / cousins (only those married), maternal uncle, aunties / cousins (only those married). They will take turns to be seated in pairs, the couple will bow, serve them tea & greet by their title / rank in the family (e.g. “Eldest paternal uncle, pls have some tea” / “3rd maternal auntie, pls have some tea). In return, they will give the bride & groom ang pow or in some cases they’ll give the bride gold chains / jewelleries; which she has to decked them all upon being given. So if you have 10 bracelets you’ll be wearing them up to the elbow! & if there’s 5 necklaces, you’ll be wearing all of them over your neck! I also learned tht if an elder is pregnant, she must stand when being served tea because the bride & groom are older than the baby in the womb, so it wouldn’t be right for the baby to “sit” (via his/her mum’s body) & be bowed at by their elders.
After completing this, the bride & groom can then sit & distribute ang pows to the children / unmarried relatives (even those older than the bride & groom because in Chinese tradition, a person who’s unmarried is still considered a “child”). Finally the bride will be escorted out by the groom & a lady representative carrying either a red / pink umbrella towards the groom’s car. The relatives of the bride will follow in the cars that came in the convoy to go to the groom’s hse for another round of celebration as invited guests.
7. Prayers to the Gods & Tea Ceremony at the Bridegroom’s House
When the bride comes to the groom’s house, she has to bring along the following items:
a) Potty with fruits, ang pow, “leng zhi” & “bak hap” (both are a type of dried edible seed & plant bulb) in it & the rim is covered in red paper. Fruits in Cantonese is “Sang Guo” & the word “Sang” sounds like deliver (as in deliver a baby); the word “zhi” from “leng zhi” sounds child & the word “hap” from “bak hap” sounds like good tidings (or something like tht lar... difficult to translate this). Naturally the red potty is for future use by the little ‘un (the hope is not too distant future)
Immediately after “retrieving” the bride, both bride & groom will start serving tea to the bride’s family – starting with the bride’s grandparent, parent, paternal uncle, aunties / cousins (only those married), maternal uncle, aunties / cousins (only those married). They will take turns to be seated in pairs, the couple will bow, serve them tea & greet by their title / rank in the family (e.g. “Eldest paternal uncle, pls have some tea” / “3rd maternal auntie, pls have some tea). In return, they will give the bride & groom ang pow or in some cases they’ll give the bride gold chains / jewelleries; which she has to decked them all upon being given. So if you have 10 bracelets you’ll be wearing them up to the elbow! & if there’s 5 necklaces, you’ll be wearing all of them over your neck! I also learned tht if an elder is pregnant, she must stand when being served tea because the bride & groom are older than the baby in the womb, so it wouldn’t be right for the baby to “sit” (via his/her mum’s body) & be bowed at by their elders.
After completing this, the bride & groom can then sit & distribute ang pows to the children / unmarried relatives (even those older than the bride & groom because in Chinese tradition, a person who’s unmarried is still considered a “child”). Finally the bride will be escorted out by the groom & a lady representative carrying either a red / pink umbrella towards the groom’s car. The relatives of the bride will follow in the cars that came in the convoy to go to the groom’s hse for another round of celebration as invited guests.
7. Prayers to the Gods & Tea Ceremony at the Bridegroom’s House
When the bride comes to the groom’s house, she has to bring along the following items:
a) Potty with fruits, ang pow, “leng zhi” & “bak hap” (both are a type of dried edible seed & plant bulb) in it & the rim is covered in red paper. Fruits in Cantonese is “Sang Guo” & the word “Sang” sounds like deliver (as in deliver a baby); the word “zhi” from “leng zhi” sounds child & the word “hap” from “bak hap” sounds like good tidings (or something like tht lar... difficult to translate this). Naturally the red potty is for future use by the little ‘un (the hope is not too distant future)
b) Red Baby bathtub – again for the baby… Can the hint be any stronger!?!
c) 2 rice bowls filled to the brim with rice & 2 pairs of chopsticks – to signify tht the couple will always be filled with wealth & will not find anything in want. The chopsticks are to signify tht the couple now will always be in pairs.
8. Wedding Dinner
After going through all the above, the wedding dinner is the easiest to get over with. Just drink like a fish, accept all forms of concoction / cocktail of hard liquor, don’t care to who / where just shout “Yaaaaaaaaaaa - aaaaammmmmm Seng!” you’ll never go wrong and pray tht you didn’t make too much of an ass of yourselves in front of your parent-in-law / relatives. Word of advise, make sure you eat before dinner, cos’ you can expect to have dinner 2 hours later than the time printed on the wedding invitation (Why we even bother putting the time on the card is a puzzle to me…)
Coincidentally it consists of 8 steps! “Fatt ah! Very Fatt” (not fat ar mind you… It means prosperous in Chinese)
Boy, this is 1 loooonnnnggggg marathon to complete. It spans across weeks to write this & cracking my head to remember the details of my own wedding. Am sure I’ve missed out quite a bit cos’ there’s so many! So Sean, do you still want a full scale Chinese wedding? Hahaha…. I went through them & despite the many steps; it was quite fun actually (thinking back now tht is – not then… Was crazily nervous then!)
Monday, 31 March 2008
Old Souls Day - Cheng Beng
Last Sunday it's my 3rd year attending the Cheng Beng festival as a part of the Tang family. Again it was a little strange for me because it's 1 thing to pray to your own ancestors... At least you know who you're praying to (i.e. grandparent & great grandparent); but praying at my husband's grandparent grave was different. I've not met them, so I can't really conjure out any sweet memories / remembering any of their presence.
It is an interesting festival though. It not only encourage people to remember the dead & their contribution to the present generation. It also promotes family unity. It is one of those festivals where everyone will converge & meet up at the grave of their ancestors.
I also observed my sister-in-law as she explains to her 5 year old daughter the significance of the prayers & how by having this event, we will remember our forefathers & be thankful for their struggle / effort. For without them, there can never be us. Such a message also promotes fillial piety.
I can't help feeling guilty that we're really damaging the environment though. So much open burning coming from the incence, the candles & paper made in gold ingots / any conceivable object you can think of. Then towards the evening on the news, they shared the new generation of prayers which is done virtually. How? Well, there's a digital tomb stone with digital pix of the deceased. Then you digitally light up the jossticks & candles and burn as much paper "hell currencies" / paper objects as you like. You can also select the flowers / items of your choice to arrange in front of the grave (e.g. chicken / duck / roast pork etc). Interesting huh... It solved the environment polution part, but can't help feeling that it lost the personal touch.
Lastly, as any festival goes, it's getting really commercialized. Imagine cashing in on the dead! I'm shocked that they have paper lingerie (with lacy motives too!), paper massage chair, paper DVDs, paper cellphone, paper foot water-spa-&-massager etc. What next? Paper private jet / paper jacuzzi?!? Go figure... :-)
It is an interesting festival though. It not only encourage people to remember the dead & their contribution to the present generation. It also promotes family unity. It is one of those festivals where everyone will converge & meet up at the grave of their ancestors.
I also observed my sister-in-law as she explains to her 5 year old daughter the significance of the prayers & how by having this event, we will remember our forefathers & be thankful for their struggle / effort. For without them, there can never be us. Such a message also promotes fillial piety.
I can't help feeling guilty that we're really damaging the environment though. So much open burning coming from the incence, the candles & paper made in gold ingots / any conceivable object you can think of. Then towards the evening on the news, they shared the new generation of prayers which is done virtually. How? Well, there's a digital tomb stone with digital pix of the deceased. Then you digitally light up the jossticks & candles and burn as much paper "hell currencies" / paper objects as you like. You can also select the flowers / items of your choice to arrange in front of the grave (e.g. chicken / duck / roast pork etc). Interesting huh... It solved the environment polution part, but can't help feeling that it lost the personal touch.
Lastly, as any festival goes, it's getting really commercialized. Imagine cashing in on the dead! I'm shocked that they have paper lingerie (with lacy motives too!), paper massage chair, paper DVDs, paper cellphone, paper foot water-spa-&-massager etc. What next? Paper private jet / paper jacuzzi?!? Go figure... :-)
Thursday, 14 February 2008
Chinese New Year
Lets see, what to share about the Chinese New Year this year...
It was pretty uneventful dispite the earlier misgivings... It was rather quiet though... Totally unlike the Chinese New Year I used to have when I was a child. Then again, I'm not exactly sure if I miss my childhood CNY celebration either...
You see, I come from quite a diverse, traditional & big family (at least in my opinion). So CNY is always... how should i put it... ??? chaotic? It is normal to have about 150 people in our house & the whole New Year was centered on food preparation (Chinese are great foodies... They eat everything under the sun with the exception of those with upright vertebrate - though some are disagreeing with me on that point as well!).
Anyway, so with 150 people in your house, the minute you're awake, it's breakfast preparation - and Chinese Breakfast on CNY is not bread, eggs & coffee / cereal mind you. We have rice, roasted & salted peanuts and the main dish - mix vegetable (I understand that those having mix vegetable for breakfast are most likely Cantonese - so if you find you're a Cantonese & not having this traditional practice; you'll most likely be called a banana - yellow outside, white inside). Being Chinese, of course everything we do / eat / make must somehow relate to something auspicious. So in the mix veg, we have a black colour, hair looking algae called "Fatt Choy" which directly translates to "Hair-Looking" Vegetable; but as it sounds like "Fatt Choy" (meaning becoming prosperous / rich) as in Gong Hei Fatt Choy; Cantonese tends to put lots of this algae into their food. In fact I understand Chinese especially Cantonese are so particular in having this black algae that the harvesting has caused miles of new desert area in China!
That is just breakfast... By the time everyone finished breakfast (which means several batches of people taking turns to eat at the dining table) & all dishes are washed; it is time for lunch preparation and you guessed it... after lunch it is dinner preparation (which is usually the highlight meal of the day).
Some might wonder, how do you feed 150 people in a house with just 1 x 10 pax dining table? Well, we have a spare foldable table (which by the way can only fit 5 pax at max), but the bulk of the "Children" (and that includes un-married adults) have their meals "buffet" style! The amusing part was not the buffet meal, but rather the "table" that was used to arrange all the dishes... I give you 3 guesses, what we used for the table...
1. ...........???................
2. ...........???................
3. ...........???................
The answer is a Ping Pong table in the middle of our hall! haha... bet it didn't come across your mind... Rather creative isn't it.
Anyway, back to the present. So, as you can imagine, having 150pax every year until recently and suddenly having less than 12pax now (my in-laws, my 2 brother in-law & their family, my hubby & myself); it becomes extremely quiet even with the TV blaring at the background the whole day.
The good thing about celebrating CNY in KL though is having KL all to yourself. NO JAM!!! yeah! Imagine driving from Cheras to Bukit Bintang / Sungai Wang via Jalan Loke Yew without the customary crawl & taking 10mins max! Heaven! :-)
The 2nd day of CNY was more eventful when I went to my maternal grandmother's place for the 2nd leg of the celebration. More uncles & aunties, cousins and of course my own parent & brothers... Some "harmless" card games & catching up with everybody & stuffing our face silly with the New Year cookies + mandarin oranges. Granny of course prepared her signature Asam Laksa, Auntie Lai Chin - her "Mean-Fun-Gou". Food here is delicious - more Malaysianized Chinese type of food - aka spicy... hehe...
Anyway, a few hundred angpows lesser & a few kg added, it's time to go back to work... Though I keep telling myself it is neccessary to go back as I had a list of things-to-do in my log book; can you blame someone for grudgingly going back to work? Am just happy I didn't have to work over the CNY like I used to sometimes.
Happy Chinese New Year! Gong Hey... Gong Hey...
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