The Peanut Theory

It was during the usual late evening discussions before leaving for home that Storm & I collectively came up with the new version of the infamous Peanut Theory. It took me quite some time to figure out the way to put this theory into words as the writer's block continues to haunt me. I almost abandoned the idea of ever writing this "Theory" in my blog until Storm reminded me of it & it is with her insistence that I wrote this piece. Thanks Storm for the encouragement. :-)

I'm refering to the ever popular phrase in today's corporate world that's short of resources :

"When you pay peanuts you get monkeys"

Storm came across this comment that evening & she quickly disagreed because she felt that her fellow graduates are being paid well. So how can the phrase be relevant when these fortunate lots are well buttered & not paid peanuts?

When I was told of this, my first reaction was that both the initial comment & Storm's conclusion is not entirely accurate especially in the Graduates circumstances. That was when I came up with my very own "Peanut Theory II" which is :

"When you pay peanut-butter (smooth plz...) you get quality chimpanzees!"

What's the difference to the 1st Theory? Simple. Though I agree with Storm that graduates are not paid peanuts but their pay can hardly be considered as rich butter too. My conclusion is that because the new generation of smart-ass monkey family - the chimps are no longer contented to being paid peanuts as their predecessor used to, the "Circus Trainers" had to come up with a new remuneration package to attract world class chimps to perform "human" tasks for them. However, as you & I know, today's corporate world is really going towards the lean & mean and out-sourcing everything safe the management team seem to be the solution for all - so pray how can they pay butter?

Hence the "circus trainers" set-up a think tank and came up with a brilliant idea of camouflaging the peanut & come up with the revolutionary "Peanut Butter"! That way the poor-chimps-souls will be deceived into thinking that they are paid in butter, but in actual fact it is still peanuts! Most importantly the peanut butter must be of the smooth variety & not the crunchy ones, so that the chimps continue to be deceived by the "buttery richness" of the peanuts.

It would take another evolution (as in Darwin's Theory) before the chimps realize that their prized remuneration is actually still peanuts in substance. Until then, the circus will continue to have its stream of happy chimps performing human tasks at monkeys' pay.

With this, it will evolve again to the "3rd Peanut Theory", which is :

"You Pay Peanuts, You Get Nutcases"

This is dedicated to the chimps out there who are still not aware that in actual fact they are still being paid peanuts. Hope you enjoyed this little "poke" at their remuneration package.

Regards,
Nutcase Chimp