Sigh.... Storm's Quirks

I think this is not the first time I said tht I need to change this blog into "Storm's Quirks" rather than "Fern's Quirks"! I'm writing almost all about her quirks here & I'm going to post another 1 now! Sigh... The unfairness of it all.

Let's see where to start? There are so many.....

1. She likes it "hard & rough"
OK.... Before any of you go anywhere near 18SX, pls take your mind off the dumpster & read first (or izit just me having my mind in the gutters? blame it on my hubby! I'm innocent! HA!). Anyways, to those close to dear Ms. Storm, we know she hates the drumstick because, in her words, "it tastes so oily & slimy & smooth, it's disgusting". Some new friends tht join us for lunch then queried her further; "what about beef / lamb?" Of which she answered tht she only takes the lean meat & cut away the fat. Gangsta Mama & I must have sent everyone else in the lunch group in silent shock when we said "In summary, she likes her 'meat' hard & rough!"... OMG... The 18SX connotation from tht 1 sentence!

2. Pastis, Tennis & Coke?
You must be wondering what does all the above words have in common. None whatsoever if not for the fact tht there were some really "damaging misunderstanding" due to some hearing problem / bad pronunciations (the reason for the misconception depends on whether the person is the listener / the speaker. Naturally the speaker aka Ms. Storm will say tht it's the listeners tht's having hearing problem). Anyway, back to the topic. So 1 day, Ms Storm suggested tht we should do lunch at the Gardens MidValley in a cafe called "Pastis". I did a double take & said "What?!?!?! Testis for lunch!" Ms Storm then had to spell it out for me & as mentioned earlier, both parties claim to be the innocent & it's the other party's error. For this case though, I can proudly claim tht it is definitely in Ms. Storm's pronunciation, because she repeated tht to several other ppl (Gangsta Mama & Road Bully included) & all of them heard the same word as I did...

Some time later, we were talking about tennis because Storm has a crush on Roger Federrer lately & has been following the progress of the tennis matches. When she mentioned the word "tennis", somehow all of us heard the word "penis" & she started laughing her normal Storm hysterical laugh saying "What is wrong with you guys! First Pastis became Testis & now Tennis?!" To which the rest of us defended, "we told you it's your pronunciation, otherwise you won't have all of us hearing the wrong thing right.... We further speculated how wrong it will sound if we tried to say "I love playing tennis & balls" OR "I love playing tennis, but hate collecting balls" but it sounded like...... you fill in the blanks ;-)

Then only recently (lunch today in fact), we're at San Francisco Steak Hse having lunch with free-flow Coke / Sprite. This time Storm had some hearing problem when I said "Would like more Coke" & she burst out laughing. Puzzled I looked at her & she had to whisper over the table (cos' we had a male lunch partner in our midst). With a devilish glint in her eyes she said "I heard Cock" Oh Ms Storm.... you're so crass.... :-p

3. Never trust a translation for a Thai movie
As experienced by our dear Ms Storm (I seriously wonder why all this strange incidence happens only to her), she was bored & tried watching a Thai horror flick relying on sub-titles to understand the story. Needless to say, she stopped when the sub-title came in as "lonely girl seeks company of vegetable". How can a horror movie sound so "blue"? Only in Storm's world.

4. Rear-End Review?
Ms Storm was about to send a meeting invite to her supervisor to book time for her Year-End Review. Just before sending the mail out, she realized tht she accidentally typed "Rear-End Review" on the title. Talk about MAJOR Career Suicide Move (CSM)... (author is rolling her eyeballs in resignation)

5. Salmon Balls anyone?
Why does everything Ms. Storm says seem to have sexual connotations? Now, Ms Storm has developed a penchant for the Salmon roe (not the tiny ones, but the bigger ones the size of small necklace beads). Trying to tell me & Road Bully about her new "love" she said "I just love this Salmon balls. It's so squishy & juicy, it just bursts in my mouth! Yum!" It sounded SO dodgy... Granted, it might be just me & road bully purposely misunderstanding her, but.... but.... there are better words to use.... "Roe", Ms Storm... It's called Salmon Roe!

Opps.... I have more to share but hubby dearest is already waiting downstairs... I'll continue in my next article of "Sigh..... Storm's Quirks Part II". As usual, we can never finish her quirks in 1 sitting.... :-) Meanwhile, enjoy... Storm, you're welcome to "defend" yourself, but it's no use... :-p Others, if you see anyone defending Storm's actions, you know who she is....